Peace

My uncle died this week. I haven't seen him in about 20 years, but I am pretty sad about it. He was only 52.

He was the coolest uncle when I was a little girl. He was funny and kind and patient. He was a doctor. He knew all the answers to Trivial Pursuit, but if he was your partner, he made you feel like you knew them, too. He was in the army. I remember when he was officially discharged. He had a big smile on his face and a beer in his hand and he said that he'd made his very last phone call to check in and he was officially out of the army. He was pretty happy. He was a good dad to his kids and seemingly a good husband to my aunt. He liked to hear about what I thought and what I was reading. He made me feel smart and important. I remember he went on a road trip with my family before he married my aunt. He drew the short straw and had to ride in the back of the pickup with the kids. He never once acted annoyed, even though my little sisters and I played "smother him with kisses" the whole way to wherever we were going. We were little. We didn't know how annoying we were. He didn't sit in the back after that, though :)

Then, one day when I was in my teens, it all changed and I never saw him again. He chose a different life and struggled with addiction. I wrote him a letter once but he never wrote back. I was sad, but kind of understood. He probably thought I wanted to try to bring him back and he was happy where he was. Or maybe he didn't want me to be a part of that world. I don't know if I am happier because the only memories I have of him are the happy ones or if I am sad because I missed him all those years. Well, Uncle Dan, I love you. May you rest in peace. You were a light in my life and I will always remember you that way.